A grave escape â˜ âš°

I can’t stand you, so I’ll just take a seat, I don’t desire you, you don’t sweep me off my feet, I look into your eyes, and they just feel so bleak, I can’t be with someone who goes back to what they ran from, I can’t deal with the two facedness that you love to seek, I’m so relieved that you’re now gone, don’t ever try and come back to me.

I cant deal with someone who thinks that theyre above and on top, you think you’re so desirable and hot that everybody wants you, well honey i hate to break it to you  that you’re not, you make out you’re successful, but you’re stuck in a dead end job, with no career prospects on the horizon, and not enough to pay your bills, your derelict tiny flat, will be the one that you die in.

You act like rocky, but you can’t throw a punch, you sqeual like a bitch when hurt, and cried at getting dumped, you cried more than me, and claimed that I’m emotional, when I never once shed a tear for you, I guess you really were unlovable, you claim you’ve moved on, and sent me nasty messages, I laughed at the desperation, after begging me to stay with you, I realised you’re just a waste of a specimen, a waste of a life, you’re just someone who’s more full of shit than someone with constipation.

I hate that I hate you, because you’re simply not worth it, but everyone knows I have a short temperament, I just love to rip on you, because you can’t write back to anything thats intelligent, you lack the knowledge and the literature, to understand the basic alphabet, you couldn’t spell your own name, if it was tattooed across your body and on your neck, I’m surprised you have your licence, i didn’t think that the mentally challenged would be allowed to drive, I’m actually quite surprised you’re still alive, but it’s severely disappointing to me, that you haven’t yet committed suicide.

I could write forever, and diss you all the way, I could tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, like it’s your judgement day, I can let everyone know, the person that you really are, snidey, selfish, desperate, egotistical, gluttonous, dirty and conceited, the list leads all the way up to the stars, but karma has a way of getting people back, and my karma has a vengeance, I hope I’m stuck in your brain like fresh, stinking tarmac, I hope you’re thinking of me, and that you can sense my presence, and by the way, sleeping with your ex on a Thursday isn’t cheating, it’s a Thursday throwback 👌

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The war inside the war

When the papa cries,
Because he can hear the rumbling,
He takes his children underground,
Praying that they’ll survive.
When the mama cries,
Over the children that she’s lost,
She has no home and no family,
From the bombs that were dropped.

When the baby screams,
Because she doesn’t understand,
“Im sorry for bringing you into this world.” Her mama cries, whilst holding her babies hand.
A kid walking down the bombed out street, inocently kicking along a piece of rubbish, within seconds he hears a bang, then sees a dead man laying next to him with a bullet in his stomach.

When they have no food to eat,
When their bellies are empty,
When they’re sick with no medication,
When there’s no one that cares, they accept defeat.
With bombs dropped all over the land,
houses shattered and crumbled around them, what’s left of the family stand still and stare, and cry at their surroundings.

They don’t understand, they did nothing wrong, they didn’t want a war, but still the war begun, they watched innocent people die, family members taken too early, as papa walks the streets with his family; they’ve been obliterated, he sees kids dying of starvation, bodies strewn across the grounds, bombs, guns, and machetes is all that seems to be found.

As he picks up a machine gun, papa and his family pray, they kneel and pray to the sky and the clouds seem to open, as he takes his families lives, a shot in the back of the head to each member, much to his dismay.

Hes sent them off to a better world than this one, he wants them all to go to heaven, he begs for forgiveness, and tells God that wars to blame, he begs and screams at Him to make the wars stop, as he didn’t want his family deaths to be in vain, as he turns the gun onto himself, he takes one laat look around, he puts his finger on the trigger, pulls it, and blows out his brains.

Fat rats 🐀

​Our memories are tainted by my repulsion for you, the time we spent together was wasted, but at least I grew, i grew longer than the hairs from your nostrils, and the ones sticking out of your belly, you acted manlier than a man, with even your pubic area being smelly, I felt like I was dating a frog, slimy and full of boils, with stinking yellow pus oozing from them constantly, the sight of them made me recoil, in horror of who id been sleeping next to, I found somebody else, and i slept next to them instead, I knew it was over within the first three months of us, I could no longer smell you in my bed, she replaced you straight away, but I still acted like we were together, I was just bored and needed entertaining, and i knew I could throw you away as easy as a feather, you filled a bit of my time, and you grew as a person too I know, not mentality wise, but round the waist, the face, the stomach and even down to your toes, I told you I loved you, but I never meant it because it was her all along, her I was thinking of when we were in bed together, her I thought about everytime I played ‘Our’ song, her who gets me through the stormy weather, it was never you and I’m happy you turned out to be a rat, it pleases me to know that you’re just like you’re family, destined to be brainless, on drugs, in and out of prison and fat, so I guess all I’m trying to say, is that I hope you drown in the river, or at least in a car crash, and fuck you, have a nice day, by the way, get to the doctors for that rash..

‘What have you got to be depressed about?

Depression doesnt need a reason, it doesnt care if youre rich or poor, anxiety builds within you, it sneaks in open doors, it creeps up like a stranger, but you can sense it’s there, you know you’re in danger, but you’re too tired to care, you start to feel numb inside, only filled with rage, you never notice the Sun, you  just focus on the rain, goosebumps cover your skin, you’re cold even in spring, you know it comes from within, you abandon your dreams, you simply do not care, you have no desire to succeed, you’re stuck in a state of despair, you know it’s not normal, but nobody understands, you don’t want to be abnormal, this wasn’t what you had planned, you had goals to achieve, paraded your beliefs, trusted the people around you, but now that you’ve pushed them away, you feel relieved, you love your own space, but loathe the thoughts in your brain, you’re too easily replaced, you can’t cope with the emotional pain, you desperately want it to stop, you ask for some advice, you get offered medication but it comes at a price, but there’s a waiting list for therapists, and so many are suffering all alone,  and there’s not a lot of psychotherapists, you’re just a statistic that’s unknown, you feel like you have no options, you take the blade to your skin, self harm is a trait you’ve adopted, and it slowly kills you from within, if you succeed you’ll be mourned, but forgotten within a few, it’s the cycle of life but it doesn’t have to be that way, I’m still stuck in the cycle, slowly everythings crumbling away, my mind plays tricks and makes me question if i want to be alive to face another day, depression has turned my blood to sadness, flowing through my veins, some days it doesn’t feel like I’ll survive, but I try and fight another day 

The rats 🐁

I met an ugly, fat rat once, it was smelly and hairy, it tried to trick me one day, it tried hard to be devious and scary, but I wasn’t afraid, as I’d dealt with rats before, I wouldn’t bow down to it, I got so restless I’d be awake and I’d start to snore, 

The rat wasn’t impressed, it responded by calling me rude names, but the words didnt affect me, because the rat didnt have a brain, there was no creativity in what they were trying to say, I couldn’t understand it the spelling was that poor, I thought that rats were clever animals, maybe this rat hadn’t matured, 

I tried to teach the rat some information, something they were deeply lacking in, it wasn’t appreciated, I think they suffered a deformation, the rat had more than two faces, and knowing they had nothing left, went back to the same people, that they’d been fighting with for ages,

The rat was feeling lonely, they realised they had nothing, I didn’t feel nothing at all, liberation only, I tried to put myself in their head, to see how I would feel, I just couldn’t do it, to be that spineless and brain dead, I knew I’d never heal, the rat got even angrier, knowing I would laugh, trying to get a reaction, but writing is a weapon, one the rat could never have,

So now theres anger in the air, it’s been brewing for a while, the tension is increasing, no longer people smile, rats run in the street, creating chaos and trying to scare, but rats soon get taken out like garbage, no more menacing eyes to stare, throw them in the puddle, drown them in the sewers, put them out of my misery, stick them with barbecue skewers, keep their heads under the water, until they no longer breathe, send them to the slaughter, keep them rats away from me

Opposites attract

​I’m a writer with no words, a poet with no syllables, I’m a clock with no time, I’m a sleepy morning with open eyes, I’m a lover with no one to call my own, I’m a fighter with no troubles, I’m an addict with no addiction, I’m a singer with no tone, I’m everything and nothing, but opposites attract, I’m a symphony of life, I’m a worker who got sacked, I’m a million and one things, but certainly not a number, I’m a person, hungry with no hunger, I’m a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a cousin, a lover, a beginning to an end, I’m everything I need to be, but not everything I want to be, I’m alive, but just lately, I feel pretend

You’re the darkness ðŸŒ™

​I devour moons to light the darkness within, the shadows left from your heart haunt my memories, I push them into silence, but they screech back with dedication, swaying back and forth to the hum of their own tunes, I drown in desperation, the desire to erase you overwhelms, with fractures in my mind i carry you, I fear I’ll never be healed, never to feel again